Worse and worse. The thoughts are inside out. A realizing of all sides of situation is hopeless. I don't wanna walk, speak, sleep, play games, drink alcohol, even smoke. Being alone I feel a necessary way with hard working and physical activities. Diets, a little bit of expensive alcohol in the evening.
Fuck your lovers. There is no destiny, only awful coincidences which always try to become illusions and often they do it. And we believe, so trustful pity sincere beings.
I did all my best to kill myself as my mental myself. But i cant. It's my dramatic vital failure. It's yours.